Dear :

February in central Ohio is hard.

Winter grinds me down and by the middle of February I think I can bear it no more. Usually, Ed and I escape to someplace sunny and warm.

But, pandemic.

Plus, last year's trip to someplace sunny and warm landed us in the emergency room after Ed had a silent heart attack in a Los Angeles hotel. The situation didn't really resolve until mid-May.

Gratefully, he's doing well now.

As I try to let unpleasant memories slide into the background, I intentionally recall the many delights of that trip.

The highlight was meeting my editor, Brenda Knight, in person for the first time. I also did five bookstore appearances in three days. I reconnected with a San Francisco writing friend and got to see a Berkeley runner friend. Plus, I met a few of the wonderful members of the San Francisco Chapter of the Women's National Book Association.

During that same trip, Ed and I had a fabulous dinner with Ed's nephew. We spent time with my stepson, and Ed got to see his mom for what turned out to be the final time.

Life is often a mix, neither all bad, nor all good at any time.

Still, I'm a little unmoored and have relied heavily on my three primary wellness practices (writing practice, running, and meditation) to keep the emotional spin to a minimum. I wrote "Running with an Open Heart" about using metta practice too.

To the extent we are able, we must prioritize self-care. Many of you remarked about my last wellness tip, so I'll repeat it:

Let what you do be enough. We're swimming in trauma.
Please don't add a layer of shame.

Another Wellness Tip

The pandemic has created "moral distress" for most of us, as we confront seemingly impossible choices. In this article, Michele DeMarco explains the challenges, and offers advice for learning resilience:

In going into ourselves, we don’t try to quash unpleasant emotions or judge them as wrong or weak. We give them space to tell us something new about what’s going on. We observe and get curious about what moral values, obligations, or responsibilities are not getting met; what this says about the distressing situation and us; and how we might find other ways to satisfy them.

Her suggestion sounds a lot like the way we build skills through meditation. 

DeMarco acknowledges there are no easy answers, but suggests doing our best to find meaning in each experience, while also reaching out to trusted friends for support. She writes, "Knowing that you are not alone in your moral struggle can go a long way to alleviating a sense of isolation and despair."

I'll echo her recommendation to find others who are also struggling. We have never needed each other more than we do now.

Mindful Writing

Even if you don't think of yourself as a writer, please consider signing up for the Mindful Writing class I'm teaching next week, Monday, February 22nd at 6:30pm ET.

I will share my experience using the "writing practice" techniques I learned while assisting best-selling author Natalie Goldberg (Writing Down the Bones, Three Simple Lines.) While I use this process to write articles, essays, and books, I also use it to digest emotions and create meaning from events that sometimes seem abstract and confusing. The darkness of February is the perfect time to practice this technique. Registration is required and it costs $25.

Movement

If you've read Depression Hates a Moving Target, you know about my fear of treadmills and bouts of agoraphobia. Add to that icy weather and you might think running was cancelled.

Nope.

I've been known to "house jog" a weird pattern through our upstairs, but must go extra slowly because of the tight turns and to avoid tripping over the rugs.

Recently, Ed and I cleared the perimeter of the largest area of our basement, transforming the room formerly known as the "Man Cave" into the "Indoor Track." I haven't counted the number of laps per mile, but I prefer this oval with fewer trip hazards to the former "house jogging" pattern. It's making me so happy.

What kind of movement works for you?

Your Replies

I had to share some of your fabulous replies to my past few newsletters.

Author and Feng Shui Consultant Laura wrote:

I’ve been dancing each day to inspire contributions to people and important causes-will do this for 365 days. I completed day 45 this morning. Gosh willing I can hold to this throughout the full 365 days. A small yet inspired way for me to send out some positive energy on FB. 

I love to think of her dancing daily. Wow. Learn more about her here.

Poet Kathleen replied:

In addition to daily walking and exercising, I'm studying Spanish every day, selecting and editing poetry for two journals, and keeping up five FB pages: 1 on music, 1 on pre-Columbian America, 1 on issues to write and/or call our representatives about, 1 on poetry, and the last, a non-specific friends page.

So, my friends might be overachievers! Learn more about Kathleen here.

Runner and flute-player Jane shared her regular breakfast:

I eat half of a grapefruit-size orange, cut up like a grapefruit, and a homemade muesli (half oatmeal, a quarter each a sprouted grain cereal and toasted wheat germ). I add golden raisins, some sort of fruit (mostly bananas now, but in season I love to have strawberries and peaches), and kefir rather than milk. And I have a pot of Keemun tea (a black Chinese tea).

And Cindy suggested a breakfast NPR program:

Do you ever listen to "The Splendid Table" on NPR? This week's topic was breakfast: Coffee & Toast with Cheryl Day and Nick Cho. As someone who has fully embraced coffee just over the last few years, and enjoys breakfast as my favorite meal of the day, I thoroughly enjoyed that episode and even streamed it again afterwards so I could take notes.

I've added it to my playlist! And Cindy, another Ohio resident, referred to February as "the armpit of the year." Um. Yes.
 

Always Grateful for Those Positive Reviews:

Thanks again to everyone who has left a positive review for Depression Hates a Moving Target and You Should Be Writing. They make me so happy. If you enjoyed either book and haven't had a chance to, please leave a review. Even one sentence means so much. To those of you who already have, I can't thank you enough!

Events & Classes

Everything is (still) online for the foreseeable future so no matter where you live, you can join me for a class or event:

2/22/21 at 6:30pm ET: Mindful Writing - registration required

3/8/21 at 6:30pm ET: Blogging for Authors - registration required

3/11/21 at noon ET: CLE on Meditation - registration required

3/12/21 (Noon PT/ 3pm ET): WNBA-SF Panel "Where Do you Get Your Ideas?" - Save the Date

4/13/21 (11am PT/2pm ET): A Daily Dose of Now - Meditation - Save the Date
 

Pick My Brain

While I no longer have the time or energy for ongoing coaching, you can hire me. I can share specific expertise with you one-on-one for a fee. I have a ton of resources, and decades of experience heading people in the right direction.

Email me at nita@nitasweeney.com to discuss this service.

Please Take Care

If I can help in some other way, please ask. Email is always the best way to reach me.

Take care and be well.